The Top 5 Homo-Erotic Riders' Covers

Riders is a wantonly stylish Italian bike magazine. Their most recent cover was this natty little number with Spies camping it up...timely for them given it now coincides with his first GP win:

Check out that eyebrow action. And the studs of course.

It isn't the first time the magazine has done something which could be said to appeal to the disco community. Here are their Top 5 covers, which are basically slow winks at the navy.

In at 5, it's Marco Simoncelli:

Cover says: "punk, rasta or nerd?"
Face says: "I want to ride in to you..."


In at 4, it's Kevin Schwantz:

Cover says: "Just one title, what a show"
Face says: "Wanna play footsie?"


In at 3 is Troy Bayliss:

Cover says: "The gladiator who's not afraid of anything, or anyone"
Face says: "Yes I tuck my t-shirt in. But do you fancy re-enacting the Thriller video?"


In at 2, it's 1981 500cc World Champ and former jail-bird (drugs, tsk) Marco Lucchinelli:

Cover says: "A life at the limit"
Face says: "Who's your daddy?"

And at number 1, it's big-nosed actor Adrien Brody:

Cover says: "The youngest Oscar winner in history, and sick of the R1"
Face says: "You can call me King Kong..."


In the interests of balance, we offer this:

http://www.riders-online.it/ - worth seeing what they do next. Red Bull Rookies as The Village People?

Simoncelli Confesses All

Much as we love clumsy crash-monger Marco Simoncelli, it seems pertinent to remind the world at this point in time about his chilling quote from the trailer for that film about MotoGP called "Fastest" which seems to have been in edit for decades but is coming out in the Summer.

These are direct screen grabs of the trailer and we haven't tinkered with them. 

First of all he says:

Then he says:

Hear that? It's the sound of Marco's lawyers repeatedly jabbing pencils in their eyes.

MotoGP Kettles

In another of those ridiculous TwitGP flights of fancy that just seem to resonate with an enthusiastic followership, today has seen the birth of MotoGP Kettles. It started when we posted a picture of this high quality piece of official merchandise:

As ever, bringing you the hot topics in MotoGP.

We then invited the TwitGP collective to send in pictures of their own MotoGP tea-making facilities, because, after all, it was a Friday afternoon and it beat getting bogged down in a tedious debate about the quality of racing.

First to show was the splendid @izzymotogp with her Morphy-Rossi Rapid Boil:

This actually looks quite good, as far as kettles go.

It seems to use some of the GP11 bodywork with its high downforce winglets, so Ducati have obviously found another outlet for defunct, unproven stock in addition to Karel Abraham's team.

Then @SimonGallagher1 eloquently revealed that his "dad is gonna shit himself when he sees this badboy."

It is, indeed, a badboy.

Well known wit, raconteur and paddock exile @ianwheeler then told us that despite a demographically-aware marketing campaign, he still had some Ant West kettles left over (which always stay upright even on wet surfaces, de dum tish):

Ian used to be a busy man.

Ian followed this up by finding a kettle belonging to Moto2 rider Tom Tutti Frutti Luthi (so called after The Grand #MotoGPsweets Affair, tm). In Ian's eyes, Tom's Swiss origins mean he likes milk. We're not going to argue as it means we all now get to say Tom Tutti Frutti Mootea Luthi:

Now say "Tom Tutti Frutti Mootea Luthi" out loud.

The appropriately-named @mikenco showed off his handiwork with a Lorenzoccino coffee machine, and, reflecting the duality of the rider, told us it "makes both good and bad coffee."

You'd think that would be it. How could there possibly be people left who still wanted to make kettle-based fun out of MotoGP? Step up @sofaracer:

"The Toni Elias" made us laugh like a drain. As did @sofaracer's next MotoGP Kettle, "The Marco Simoncelli":

"fast, but not reliable..."

And STILL, they kept coming. This from @ItsMissMell:

This from @Cormac46, risking the wrath of his mother:

And finally this from @nicklunac, who is ACTUALLY in Texas with this Colin Edwards edition:

Madness, utter madness. But perhaps not quite as mad as the $1298 Ben Spies coffee machine that started this all off.

STOP PRESS:

@sofaracer just realised he ACTUALLY owns this:

words fail us

While @elefantmans points out Clinica Mobile are also in on the act:

Is there a pullover-wearing doctor in the house?