Thursday, 29 July 2010

Karel Abraham Has Something Else Bought For Him

Karel Abraham, who is richer than you, is set to buy his perennially non-achieving Moto2 rider of a son, Karel Jr, a space station.

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Laguna's Corkscrew Files Complaint About Press Intrusion

The most famous loopy twisty downhilly corner on the MotoGP calendar, The Corkscrew, has officially complained about the constant press intrusion it had to endure at this year's US Grand Prix.

Tuesday, 27 July 2010


Well, there’s no doubt that choosing a team name for the Suzuka 8 Hours race is the BEST GAME EVER.

Our mathematics department hammered and chiselled away all night coming up with the perfect naming formula, which was:

Suzuka 8 Hour Name = 1 word description of yourself + favourite zoo animal + Madonna song title, then add Team or Racing as you see fit.

As usual, TwitGP’s brilliant followers leapt on yet another opportunity to be childish, and every singly entry cracked us up. To that end, we’ll reproduce all(ish) the names later in this entry. We never intended to do that but the quality is so high they deserve to be recorded for posterity. You properly, properly amaze us.

Before that, please raise a glass to our Top 6 (tried to do a Top 5 but you know how it is sometimes):

@amit_mandalia Team Fun Monkey Like A Virgin

@Orinocho Wombling Snake Ray of Light Racing

@anthony23cotton Overweight Elephant Holiday Racing

@GezIOM Team Shifty Meerkat Fever

@LJTay Team Busty Leopard Dress You Up Racing

@dave__46 Frustrated Wombat Papa Don't Preach Racing

Safe to say that’s the first time in history anyone has ever typed “frustrated wombat papa don’t preach” in that order.

Here are some of the other splendid entries, sorry if we missed you, it got a bit overwhelming from time to time. Our comments in brackets:

@ellen_briggs Starving Monkey Erotica Team

@willathewhippet Voluptuous Viper Vogue Racing (Alliteration Award)

@tiff_tv Stiff rhino erotica Racing (CELEBRITY ENTRY!)

@dave__46 Dave Zebra Ray of Light Racing

@fissijo nutty giraffe borderline racing

@bikesportnews Random Okapi Erotica Racing

@Timcookson63 Team orgasmic octopus push racing

@DJMissfrenchie Team bubbly gorilla cyber raga racing (this sounds real)

@timlane76 Team mischievous Tiger Little Star Racing (so does this)

@Pitbabe46 Pitbabe Gorilla Erotica Racing Team

@bicrider Frisky Tiger Crazy For You Racing (basically a chat up line)

@elbowchris Ginger Emu Vogue Racing Team

@captain_hilary Team ditzy white tiger crazy for you

@mum_zee Forgetful tigers amazing team

@Schneekoenigin Hubris Lynx Borderline Racing

@beanengineering Team Happy Penguin Like a Virgin Racing

@mel_46 loyal panda hanky panky racing (the best sort of hany panky)

@dougsymon Team Easy Monkey Frozen Team

@bonkiegray horny orangutan liquid love racing.

@Captain_Dory Team hard of hearing meerkat frozen

@paul_edwin Tall Capybara Ray of Light Racing

@Timcookson63 Team eclectic elephant love song

@amorinmenezes hungry polar bear it's fighting spirit team

@slimhaggar Team Sleepy Penguin Fever

@rhencullen Drunken Parrot Fever Racing

@Mojomarm Sleepy Lion Prayer Team Racing

@olliewoods Happy Elephant Music Racing (this sounds a nice team)

@jimnicebutdim Hairy Bear Holiday Racing (so does this)

@ewokmuncher Team Clumsy Monkey Lucky Star Racing

@madmoomin Cynical Giant Panda Like A Virgin Team (Panda, Virgin, how apt)

@tkcaba tolerant tiger crazy 4 U team

@flatin6th Team Loudmouth Penguin Erotica Racing

@McLaren_Fan Sarcastic Rhino Erotica Racing

@Grandeeeeeeee Joker Monkey Cherish Racing

@TweetiePeetie unlucky penguin frozen racing!

@annie170768 bubbly tiger angel racing

@GezIOM Lactating Penguin Liquid Love Racing (sounds dirty)

@JemsDreams Amused Tiger True Blue Racing

@Steevveen Tired Otter Express Yourself (more a command than a team name)

@thinkhugger Bemused Lemur Liquid Love Racing

@tillyannelace ticklish tiger fever racing

@SonniMoto Gangster Meerkat Rainbow Tour Racing

@PeterC46 Team hairy tigers forbidden love racing

@RacingLib271 Team Enduring Tiger Don't Stop Racing

@mayclem72 Mental Gorilla Holiday

@AmboClaire Mad Tiger Revenge Racing

@Kevski41 Team Tired Elephant Hanky Panky

@LOLRacing Amazing Fat Ape Racing

@solmwd team bodacious pig erotica racing

@jt5252 Big cock deeper and deeper racing team (ENOUGH!)

Of course, this exercise also doubled as a sinister personality audit. It’s very revealing that when given the opportunity to choose ANY way of describing your traits, the selection ranged from “tall” to “lactating”. One man simply chose the adjective “Dave”.

And when it came to choosing a Madonna song, “Erotica” won by a country mile. We do worry about you lot sometimes.

Anyway, you’ve all now been entered into the Suzuka 8 Hour Race 2011, and you’d better turn up or we’ll lose our deposit.

Haha! Look at the funny foreign names!

It has just occurred to us that MotoGP team names are dullsville. Consider the crushing corporate overtones of "Repsol Honda", or even the meaningless and wantonly French "Tech 3 Yamaha". Pah.

So hats off to the exotic efforts who took part in the Suzuka 8 Hour race last weekend. Did you SEE some of those names? No? Well fear not, we have kindly selected the top 10 right here for you. (And yes, we know this is a bit like The Boy Who Cried Wolf, but these are all legit and taken from the official, and very wide, entry list. Promise promise.)

10. Marvel at the gangster insect connotations of: TELURU HOMEY BEE Racing

9. Snigger like a school-child at: MOTO BUM and ISHIGAKI ISLAND UMINCHU

8. What's the trickiest type of dog-based animal to race against? That's right, it's the: TEAM FRONTIER CLEVER WOLF RACING TEAM (excellent use of the word "team" twice there)

7. What's not a very scary at all type of animal to race against? The: DOGFISH O-TEC SUZUKA RACING YIC

6. Want to sound like a clue from The Da Vinci Code? Simply call your team: PLOT FARO PANTHERA

5. Strike fear into the heart of your opponents by describing how you will ruin their hair: CONFIA H.M.F Like a wind

4. Strike fear into the heart of your opponents by brazenly advertising your day job: HITMAN TKm with SYULLA 

3. Who invited the DJ and Euro-dance act?: MITO MOTO & e'freaks

2. Take a deep breath, commentator-san: Bull Docker TAGOS x HALUMOTO SHOWHEI RIDE

1. And finally, our favourite. Even these guys like a bit of wanton Frenchnosity every now and again, but please, resist the snail's pace gags: Honda ESCARGOT

Meanwhile, over in Japan, bloggers are rolling on the floor laughing at how dishonourable "Yellow Pages Ducati" sounds.