Thursday, 21 April 2011

TwitGP2 Prize Winners Announced!

And so it is done - the delectable Suzi Perry, arbiter of style and justice, was entrusted with pulling 13 (lucky for some) prize winners' names out of a helmet, picked from everyone who so kindly donated to our TwitGP2 appeal. Are YOU one of them?

Here's the glitzy, razzmatazz occasion in all its unedited glory:

TwitGP TV might just catch on. Anyway, those winners in full:

The SIGNED @suziperry bike jacket goes to - Martyn and Caz Bryant!

The copy of the British Superbike 2010 Season Review, signed by BSB champion Ryuichi Kiyonari, goes to - Nickyta Homme!

The £50 gift voucher for the motorsport goodies shop courtesy @guernseylee, goes to - Caroline Stewart!

The racing motorcycle watercolour painting, courtesy of @ChrisElliottQQ, goes to - Helen Bott!

The @PunkStarUK t-shirt goes to - Julie Gibson!

The SIGNED copy of "Queen of Bikers" by Isle of Man TT racer @mariacostello, goes to - Venusa Jasmins!
The PERSONALISED piece of Twitegi artwork, by inky-fingered @MadMark99, goes to - Steven Law!

The SIGNED copy of the definitive book on grand prix boffinism, "MotoGP Technology" by Neil Spalding, aka @spalders, goes to - Julie Boynton!

The ACTUAL GRAVEL from the gravel trap at Philip Island, courtesy @nayby69, goes to - Daniela Ivanic!

The Brands Hatch winner's cap, signed by two-time BSB champ and former MotoGP rider Shakey Byrne, aka @67Shakey, goes to - Sally Swift!

The bespoke DJ mix, as created by the luscious @DJMissFrenchie, goes to - Laura Sawyer!

The copy of "Jorge Lorenzo - Portrait of a Champion", a gorgeous (and expensive) photo book, signed by both 2010 MOTOGP WORLD CHAMPION Jorge Lorenzo, and translator-in-chief @MattRobertsBBC, goes to - Vaughan Wright!

The PAIR OF PADDOCK PASSES FOR THE BRITISH SUPERBIKES SEASON, courtesy of the genuinely tremendous @OfficialBSB, goes to - Steve Gill!

If your name is up there and you haven't heard from us yet, don't worry, you will soon. 

The important bit is of course that we raised more than £2,500 for the kids of Japan - a fantastic amount seeing as all we do is a bit of typing, and about five times more than we ever dared hope for. That money has gone DIRECT to the charity and is sure to have a significant effect. You are brilliant followers. Domo arigato.

Sunday, 17 April 2011


Ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 TwitGP2 winner, Mr Colin "Colin" Colin!

"I came first."

How nice of him to flip us the sign of Twitter. Or is he telling us in which position he finished in? Anyway, here's a shot of him celebrating in a very Colin way, with an enormous bazooka:

"Take that, mothertweeter."

Here he is at his computer terminal, from where he masterminded his win:

The eyes of a sniper.

And here's a shot of him in the final corner, having just been flicked out of the tweet:

"I'll just check my front tyre wear."

And here he is, on his actual Twitbike:

Now that's out the way, the TwitGP2 Aftershow Party can start, thanks to the gorgeous-in-every-way @djmissfrenchie, who has made us a bespoke mix! Woohoo! We have annotated the Soundcloud to help you. Just press play.

  Miss Frenchie - TwitGP2 After Party set by MissFrenchie

Why not have your photo taken with the BEAUTIFUL TwitGP2 trophies while you're dancing? They're over in the corner, by @madmark99:

The Tweet Is On!

Welcome to the Twitegi Main Stage! *cue X Factor drama music and whooshing text*

SIX GRAMMYs....120 MILLION ALBUMS...he founded the Eagles...he has lovely pronounce his surname "Fry"...singing live from Twitegi island in a stream, it's...


Hope you sang the word "tweet" in your heads at the appropriate time. If that hasn't got you in the mood then nothing will.

Race Day At Twitegi

Hello, world. Welcome to Twitegi on RACE DAY!

click for a beautiful view of the details at the entrance

If you look up to the sky, you'll see crackpot inventor @madmark99 at the controls of our VERY OWN BLIMP:

the text ACTUALLY moves when you click

Over at the entrance to TwitLane, you'll see this year's safety car, shipped over to Twitegi by @brucedrif:

Meanwhile, only moments ago, @spningplates was able to sign a MAJOR energy drink sponsorship deal for us: 

kettle's never cold in this paddock

All morning, former Ducati GP man and multiple World Superbike Champion Troy Bayliss will be taking time off from cycling everywhere to do some demonstration laps. Here's a photo taken by @mikeevstog:

This livery looks immense.

And finally, we know many of you will be on the lookout for celebs - well we're pleased to say @suziperry has just arrived, having RIDDEN all the way to Twitegi:

stop saving it as your desktop picture, pervert

Saturday, 16 April 2011

The Twig Girls

Right then, for those that haven't met our official Twig Girls yet, allow us to introduce:

Holly Jones, @holly_c_jones,  who describes herself as a "model of the future" and was once an ACTUAL grid girl for Hiroshi Aoyama. Amazing.

Then there's Jessica Impiazzi, @jess_impiazzi, who as you can see likes to put her eye make-up on before her trousers. She's taking time off from appearing on the front cover of Zoo in Australia and being an actress to be a TwitGP Twig Girl.

Finally, there's Emma K, @EmmaK46, who is also a pro grid girl in real life and can be found in both BSB and WSB paddocks. She is car and bike mad, and told us she likes pink

Meanwhile, in the interests of balance, here's a picture of Brad Twitt seen visiting the Twitegi garages just now:

And, by popular demand by @abbeybxx, here's Jorge looking handsome:

Everyone's a winner. 

Castrol Honda Should Be Your Favourite WSBK Team

Some teams are made up of po-faced, humourless clots. Others JUST GET IT. Courtesy of the mighty @CastrolHonda, we can bring you THIS:

Click the ACTUAL rider. He won't mind.

Yes, that's actual @jonathanrea, pictured TODAY, in TwitGP colours, wearing TwitGP logos. Look at the pic on his laptop - cranked but giving it the V for Victory sign. The sooner this boy gets in MotoGP the better (we always thought that anyway, to be honest).

More to the point, look at that ridiculous double-decker hair-do in the background.

Imagine how much we DIED when we were then sent this ACTUAL evidence of Jonny, fresh from WINNING a World Superbike race just moments ago, TWEETING US:

bless his lovely little face
It took just a matter of seconds to find the Honda RCTweet that Jonny rode in Malaysia for a mysterious test back in December, and get @madmark99 to ship it over to Twitegi: 

Friday, 15 April 2011

TwitGP2 Race Preview


Twitter's second-ever virtual race, TwitGP2, will take place this weekend, exactly 51 weeks after the much-loved pun-fest that was TwitGP. The current MotoGP grid and a selection of carefully chosen wildcards will line up on a completely reprogrammed Twitegi circuit, now capable of holding a crowd of over 12,000 followers - more than twice the size of last year's event. 

Nine-time World Champion, professional Italian and Vampire Goat, Valentino Rossi, will be hoping the shoulder injury which has so plagued him for the last nine months of actual racing won't hinder him in the virtual event. Adding a TwitGP crown to his 125, 250, 500 and MotoGP titles would make for an an unprecedented clean-tweep in grand prix racing, but he'll be relying heavily on the services of his mechanic and experienced tweeter @alex__briggs to provide a Ducati Desmosetweetci with a race-winning Start/Settings-up. His team-mate, @nickyhayden, has spent the year tweeting hard and is desperate to maintain momentum after his podium last time out in Jerez.

Over at Yamaha, who have even fewer sponsors than little Johnny Blenkinsop in Class 2a who's doing a sponsored snot-a-thon for Save the Turds, remain confident. @lorenzo99, reigning actual World Champion, is a consummate tweeter while over on the other side of the garage firewall, @benspies11 has a reputation for quickly tweeting tracks he's never been to before. 

HRTweet are out in force, with not just the factory bikes of the likeable Casey Stoner, the lanky Dani Pedrosa, the distinctive Andrea Dovizioso and the crew-cut Marco Simoncelli, but also the monogamous Mick Doohan, who will be hoping NOT to retweet his first corner crash from last year's race. 

Tech Twee's Colin "Colin" Colin is gunning (hahahaha, sound the in-joke alert siren) for victory in what must be the veteran's last ever TwitGP, but having dabbled unsuccessfully with Twitter in the past 12 months the fans' favourite surely has a mountain to tweet. His young rookie team-mate, who is similarly only ever referred to by his Christian name, Cal "Cal" Cal, is nursing a variety of hand and arm injuries which will surely hold back his type.

Loris Capirossi has still yet to complete his ‘IT for Oldies’ class, while his Pramac colleague Randy de Puniet will once again undoubtedly be providing the TwitGP collective with endless material based around the phrase "my computer keeps crashing". 

Wildcard rider and rich source of easy jokes, Maxwellimillion Biaggi, did not have the happiest of races last year, incurring the wrath of Race Tweetdecktion for flicking all and sundry the bird (his defence that the "bird" is simply the international sign of Twitter was laughed out of court). He returns this year as World Superbike Champion for what will certainly be another hair-raising experience. 

Finally, but by no means leastly, there's Jeremy McWilliams, @McWill99, an ACTUAL grand prix winner who's been playing along like an old pro. Even he's lost count of how many 2-stroke lap records he holds ("not 100% sure," he tweeted us, "P Island, Rio..SRing maybe") and he'll be hoping that kind of raw pace on a comedically out of date Kenny Roberts Proton will somehow be useful when it comes to typing messages of 140 characters or less into a micro-blogging site. 

Qualifying starts on Saturday 16 April at 2130 UK BST, with the race on Sunday 17 April at 2130 UK BST. Tune in to @TwitGP for all the build-up and you won't miss a single click.

Notes to editors:
Advanced ticket sales have been astounding, with all money raised going towards the children affected by the Japanese earthquake. has all the details - with a list of exciting prizes on offer to those who donate available HERE

And now 43 words and one comma, in tribute to the team (who shall remain nameless) which generates our FAVOURITE press releases: 

It's the second TwitGP2 this weekend on Saturday and Sunday and Yamaha Factory Racing riders will be lining upon the grid to ride and race in the race while hoping for drier conditions than last time they raced here, otherwise it might rain.

The Wildcards Test !

Twitegi is buzzing at the moment as the riders get out for Free Practice ahead of the TwitGP2 race weekend. The wifi router still hasn't been set up at the track (thanks, Mary) so a full report can't be filed yet, but our trusty photographers @mikeevstog and @madmark99 have managed to send back these pictures of the three wildcard riders.

First up there's ACTUAL GP winner and TwitGP follower Jeremy McWilliams, @McWill99. We loved him from the moment he invented "Twirta", just so he could blag more paddock passes.

Isn't Jezza the quickest ever man on a 500 or something like that?

He's also bought his beloved Harley Davidson XR1200 along to test. Can't see this doing any good:

Looks more like a scrap yard than a motorbike.

Meanwhile, World Superbike BIG WIG Maxwellimillion Biaggi has been trundling around with a lofty opinion of himself, generally getting in people's way. For a change.

Literally nobody cheering. 

Finally, Mick Doohan has been doing plenty of press - or at least, judging by the blue paws, he's been getting his Avatar to do it while he stakes out the local, ahem, "after-hours clubs". Old habits die hard.

If Mick was in Avatar 2, that would be good.

Mick did however find time to unveil a SPLENDID livery earlier today. Remember the 40th Anniversary Repsol paint job used in Valencia in 2008? Well, it's the third anniversary of that, hence the tribute below:

At the time, Dani called the original "the most beautiful livery Repsol have ever done".

That looks the bomb doesn't it? Right down to the "t" for Twitter instead of an "r" for Repsol. Amazing.

More updates later.

Twitegi 2011 - The Track

BEHOLD! Wannabe civil engineer @tiff_tv has reprofiled the world famous Twitegi track for TwitGP2 - and it looks INCREDIBLE. 

we had to get our fax working so he could send it

Good old @MadMark99 then got the felt tips out and created THIS. Take one look and try telling us you wouldn't want to go's well worth clicking and looking at the beauty of the full size version:

think we all know who'll have their eye on that lake...

We just hope it leads to some quality racing. And more to the point, we hope the asphalt dries in time. Here's the circuit guide, hand typed by Tiff Needell himself:

The new TwitGP layout is a dauntingly fast 2.4 mile anti-clockwise track laid out to prevent other riders taking unfair advantage of Valentino Rossi’s temporary inconvenience that hinders him braking for tight right handers. (surely this is bias? Ed)

All corners are named in respect of fallen heroes from days gone by - apart from Vale which lies deep in a valley. Hence the term Vale. I thank you. 

Sheene’s is wide and slightly banked so that a lowly grid position shouldn’t be too much of a penalty if you make a good start.

Arriving at over 200mph Hailwood is a simple ninety left followed fairly quickly by the very similar Ivy – both good on 2 wheels and 4.

Abe is a spectacular long right that leads into what else but the Dunlop Esses which plunge steeply downhill through the right handed exit that leads straight into the ever tightening Kato Corner.

Exiting steeply uphill the bikes will get plenty of air over Lenz Leap – thus providing a moment of weightlessness to ease any shoulder strains before the track flattens out for the tight Jones Hairpin.

From here back to the finish it’s time for the brave to get brave. Saarinen’s Switchback plunges the bike back downhill into first Hislop's and then Vale. Sweeping uphill you’ll need to be as courageous as Tomizawa to take his turn flat out and then it’s helmets down for the blast to the finish line ...

Tiff - the world of TwitGP is indebted. Particularly as you're so busy promoting your book at the moment ON EVERY RADIO SHOW IN THE WORLD EVER. 

By the way, if you can't get to Twitegi for some reason (unlikely, let's face it, all you need to do is sit in front of your computer at home), then here's a privileged view down the main straight: 


Monday, 11 April 2011

Stop Press: Motorcycle News Gets It

Imagine our delight when @MCNmarcpotter, long standing editor bloke of "the" Motorcycle News posted this up on his Twitter feed today:

We have no idea what's real any more.
Yes, that's right - 182 bikes ridden and rated! Must remember to buy a copy.

In the meantime, @motorbikeaddict realised today that the MotoGP official website seems to be TOTALLY about TwitGP2 at the moment. How very wise of them.

Every pixel has been thought about.
It is, as they say, tote mazing.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

The Twitegi Trade Stalls

So, given Twitegi is a virtual race track, with a theoretically INFINITE infield (an INFINIELD, if you will), we thought we'd throw open the ground and let you pitch your own trade stalls ahead of the race on April 17.

The response was supreme, even by TwitGP's followers' standards. No over-priced chip vendors with congealed ketchup dispensers and tatty t-shirts under tarpaulin here (that's enough, Alliteration Ed). Oh no. Here are the best, which you'll of course be able to sample for yourselves, virtually:

- @chaosgerbil was first to set up shop - he told us "I do a good line in quality bubble wrap for any of the riders scared of falling off." This is a fantastic idea, just like those people at airports who wrap your suitcases up. IMAGINE seeing the riders spin round on those little turntables while @chaosgerbil wraps them. Amazing.

- @SirBlimelyWindy asked if he can "sell cans of air exhaled by Suzi Perry?" Well let's take it one stage further and use those cans of sweet, sweet Perry breath to power Twitegi's airhorns! Each parp will have a mild Wolverhampton accent, but the sound will render men weak at the knees. 

- TwitGP stalwart @DaveNeal has had an amazing idea - "I'll run the Dental Care stand if ya like - Tiger Tony, Casey and Hopper...a weekend's work right there!" He will, let's face it, be rushed off his feet, dealing with grins that look like the White Cliffs of Dover.
- @BillMcDonald123 has said he'll stock the beer mountain with "a million terabytes of booze". Hope that's enough - it's all free and dished out on a first tweet, first served basis.

- @Kay4652 has kindly offered, on condition that smacking is allowed, to monitor Twitegi's kindergarten, so that some of our more petulant riders literally (and by that we mean virtually) have somewhere to go and throw their toys out of the pram.

- @SofaRacer, one of our most consistently amusing followers, told us: "My stall will sell Elias LCR Honda TwitGP2 clothing and memorabilia. (though I don't expect it to move fast)". Classic set up and punchline there. Textbook. 

- @Blurow will be running a "shoe shop selling only Cuban heels, there has to be countless possible clients for them in the paddock?" Think we would all pay good money to see Dani skipping round the paddock in Cubans.

- @olliewoods, the WORLD FAMOUS in Southampton singer-songwriter says "I'll write songs based on the race and sell them on my stall...". Think about that for a second. Wouldn't it be just lovely if that happened in real life?
- the delectable @AmboClaire will be running the beer tent, except she calls it "a high class establishment complete with separate Pimms, Champagne & Ale houses!". @billyrobson is head barman - mention our name and he'll let you drink for free.
- @corner_botherer has had a FANTASTIC idea - a race team experience tent, so that us fans really get to see what it feels like to be one of the world's greatest motorcycle racers. "I'll provide a Yamaha team shirt to you, dress up as Mary Spies and shout at you.
- not STRICTLY a trade stall, but an important service nevertheless and worth repeating here: @Irish31769, our USAF figter pilot follower, callsign "Irish", asked "do we need a helicopter for dramatic video? I would fly it." We like to think he dramatically removed his RayBans in the middle of that message. "Hell yeah!", was our response, before doing that top-then-bottom high five thing.
TwitGP2 is already bigger and better than last year, and is becoming increasingly real thanks to your collective nuttiness. Good work folks.

The Twit Girls Are HERE

They're a week early, but the Twit Girls have arrived at Twitegi! Priorities, people, it's all about priorities.

eeny, meeny, miny, moe...

Please resist the urge to click on an inappropriate area when enlarging the above picture. And praise be to @MadMark99 for selflessly taking the time to painstakingly stare at this image while preparing it for the greater good.

Guys, and, let's face it, girls ("winky face") - if this pic isn't worth a couple of quid we don't know what is.

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Words Fail Us

This, perhaps more than anything else, is the image that best encapsulates TwitGP:

@madmark99 has been up to his usual tricks, then

In short, it's Lauren Vickers, Pramac "spokesmodel" and girlfriend of the TINY DEAD PRUNE, wearing some shrubbery, promoting a VIRTUAL race which is raising money for an ACTUAL charity, standing next to the ACTUAL tractor cherished by Valentino Rossi's spannerman and failed bus mechanic @alex__briggs, which is called Mr Mahindra and has become a cult hero amongst the Twitterati, sporting a new livery to celebrate TwitGP2, all pictured on the start-finish straight of a made-up race track called Twitegi, designed by @tiff_tv, a British tv presenter.

We're in deep here people.

IF anyone ever says "what's TwitGP about then?", we will simply tell them to look at this photograph. Then run away.

TwitGP2 Fundraising and Prize Details

As you hopefully know by now, the TwitGP2 race will be on Sunday, April 17. (If you don't, read this.)

The specific reason we're conducting a VIRTUAL RACE this year is to raise money for the kiddiwinkles of Japan, affected by the quake n' waves. So, we're respectfully suggesting that a £2 donation made to our fund at would be appropriate - think of it as your TwitGP2 entrance fee.

AND...after the race we'll dish out a handful of VERY COOL prizes to random people who have donated. The person picking the names will be a blindfolded Suzi Perry (the concept of which has prompted an unprecedented amount of filthy comments from men-folk).

PS If you've got a decent prize you wish to donate to the best thing in motorcycling, tweet us, or risk looking badly out of step and old-fashioned.

Details on the prizes to be announced soon, but already we've got some incredible extras coming in:

The PRIZE FUND so far is...

- a SIGNED @suziperry bike jacket - wear this and you'll instantly pull.

- a PAIR OF PADDOCK PASSES FOR THE BRITISH SUPERBIKES SEASON, courtesy of the genuinely tremendous @OfficialBSB. Yes, a pair! For the season!

- a copy of "Jorge Lorenzo - Portrait of a Champion", a gorgeous (and expensive) photo book, signed by both YOUR 2010 MOTOGP WORLD CHAMPION Jorge Lorenzo, and owner of the BBC, @MattRobertsBBC.

- a SIGNED copy of "Queen of Bikers" by Isle of Man TT racer @mariacostello, a true heroine of road racing.

- a SIGNED copy of the definitive book on grand prix boffinism, "MotoGP Technology" by Neil Spalding, aka @spalders. If you read it, you will be instantly made brainy. 

- a copy of the British Superbike 2010 Season Review, signed by BSB champion Ryuichi Kiyonari. Surely a future collector's item, thanks again to @OfficialBSB. 

- an Brands Hatch winner's cap, signed by two-time BSB champ and former MotoGP rider Shakey Byrne, aka @67Shakey. Again high fives to @OfficialBSB. 

- a PERSONALISED piece of Twitegi artwork, by our beloved prince of Photoshop, @MadMark99

- a bad-ass t-shirt from the rockers and rollers at @PunkStarUK,

- your VERY OWN DJ mix, as created by the luscious @DJMissFrenchie, TwitGP's Head of Music. We would like to win this one.

- a racing motorcycle watercolour painting, worth £250-£500, courtesy of @ChrisElliottQQ. Check his really lovely stuff out here.

- a £50 gift voucher for the motorsport goodies shop thanks to the generosity of @guernseylee

- thanks to @nayby69, on of our most devoted followers, we can offer some ACTUAL GRAVEL from the gravel trap at Philip Island. We've seen the pics, this is genuine. Amazing. 

De Puniet Caught Testing TwitGP2 Bike!

Our thanks to @wilzilla, who earlier today told us he'd seen everyone's favourite shaven-chested Frenchman, Randy de Puniet, out testing a TwitGP2 bike. A few minutes later he'd followed it up with this spy pic:

surely only moments from crashing
At this rate, we'll have more ACTUAL pictures of VIRTUAL bikes than there are ACTUAL bikes on the ACTUAL grid.

And it can only be a matter of time before someone gives this picture of the Tiny Dead Prune's girlfriend the full tweetment, strictly for promotional purposes of course:

Well, go on then, someone.

Colin Tests TwitGP2 Bike!

@MikeEvstog has been camped out at a track since news of TwitGP2 broke, but his patience has paid off - he's able to bring us the FIRST EVER photo of a TwitGP2 bike testing. The man only ever referred to as "Colin", Colin "Colin" Colin, aka The Twixas Twitnado, is seen below:

well worth clicking

It looks, as the youth says, da bomb doesn't it? Like, proper proper mega. The TwitGP2 branding is subtle but gee whizz there's something powerful about the simplicity of the overall design.

Our technical guru, Alan Key, took time out from plugging his recent book to interpret the picture from a technical guru perspective - "Colin's M140 may be, in effect, Rossi's TwitGP bike from last year, but this picture clearly shows the tweet-handling chassis Yamaha pride themselves on is still a force to be reckoned with" he said, while scoffing some cake.

Friday, 8 April 2011

Honda Launch TwitGP2 Bikes

It's been a busy day at the paint shop! @MadMark99, who normally teaches people how to ride motorbikes, has somehow found the time to kindly paint a bike for TwitGP2 on behalf of HRC:

it even says "One Tweet" rather than the normally fatuous "One Heart"

Then, @motorbikeaddict also discovered some left-over turqoise paint and got busy on a bike for Dani:

Shame Dovi hasn't got one. Maybe Simoncelli was given it, as usual.

The RCTweet looks even more striking than its actual RCV sibling, and maybe it's just the addition of TwitGP logos, but to us Dani looks waaaay happier than normal as well.

Which bike is your favourite? 26, or 27?

TwitGP2 is hotting up nicely - who knows what will be created next?

Rossi on the GP12

The Desmosetweetci wasn't the only new Duke to break cover today. Valentino Rossi rode his 1000cc GP12 for the first time as well. Given it's his racing machine for next season, this is what's known as a SIGNIFICANT EVENT. You can see him here:

Some observations:

1) at 0.21 somebody appears to be inserting something up Valentino's arse.
2) at 0.28, the least necessary caption in the history of the moving image appears.
3) at 0.41, the sound of the exhaust mysteriously disappears, presumably to stop rival teams figuring out rev limits and what have you OR because the funny little "mic" on the camcorder just picked up the sound of noisy wind blast, like every other amateur home video.
4) at 1.10, at the point we're all dying to interpret his reactions, there is a carefully chosen shot where Valentino looks neither happy nor unhappy, thus keeping us all in suspense for just a little longer.
5) at 1.14 they seem to be choosing which graphic equaliser visualisation they'll opt for next year.

Overall, there are a disappointing lack of machine guns, oil slick dispensers and rocket boosters on display, leading us to think the 2012 regs NEED TO BE RE-EXAMINED QUICKLY.

Literally understeering mid-corner, on the cusp of benefitting from increased torque

Ducati Launch Desmosetweetci for TwitGP2

Thanks to the tasteful skills of @motorbikeaddict, Ducati are the first to show their colours for TwitGP2:

if you click it, it gets bigger

Bloody professional isn't it?! Many of us were worried how Twitter turquoise and red might have clashed, but this treatment has put our minds at ease.

Two things:
1) insert your own Bridgestone/snow/grip joke here.
2) this is the first livery we've seen for TwitGP2, but will it be the last?*

* please don't let it be the last

By the way, here's what @motorbikeaddict came up with for TwitGP1 - presumably this year Yamaha have to run without any Twitter sponsorship at all:

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

ACTUAL Tiger Paws!

When Casey Stoner started wearing gloves that looked like tiger paws, we started calling him Tiger Paws. Got that? Good. There's a picture of them HERE if you need to check. It's a chortlesome nickname and it instantly caught on amongst the TwitGP collective.

Now sit down, and breath deeply. Imagine how we felt when ace Dutch follower @_Joostk_ sent us THIS:

The Adventures of Tiger Boy AND his Real Tiger Paws? Are you shitting us?!
As you can imagine, we died. Then we got technical guru Alan Key to carbon date the picture, and kept our fingers crossed that it was genuine. "This could very well be the world's greatest ever example of life imitating art" he said, building his part.

Turns out IT IS. Because then we saw this:

Click and read, you beauties

...and we died again. An entire comic strip dedicated to promoting an old brand of Uniroyal tyres, called, with great prescience, Tiger Paws. It's not a bad read, either, although we guessed the ending.

Note to Bridgestone - where is YOUR comic? Hmm? Well? Where is it? (Suggested storyline: The Adventures of Bouncy the Tyre and His Disappearing Grip. Please somebody make this.)

UPDATE: Good ol' @Madmark99...

 UPDATE 2: Good ol' @DJMissFrenchie for finding A REAL TIGER PAW:

UPDATE 3: And then...we found this. We literally stopped breathing:


And so it begins - paddock passes have ALREADY been created for TwitGP2, and because of the democratic way we like to run things, EVERYBODY is entitled to one. (Suck on that, Dorna.) We find they make excellent profile pictures.

Eternal thanks to @Madmark99 for this one (we've still never, ever met him): 

Click it, save it, do with it as you see fit.

You'll note the plastic wallet, designed to keep the jpg dry in all conditions (it does tend to rain at Twitegi), and a gentle reminder that all this tomfoolery is in aid of our pals in Japan with the splendid Land of the Rising Sun motif. (Which reminds us of our favourite one liner: "I had a hot curry last night, now my clacker looks like the flag of Japan." You may use that.)

There's also this natty little number, by the excellent @iAmiAdam, who was out the traps quicker than Pedrosa and submitted it within MINUTES of TwitGP2 being announced:

Keep it in your wallet, next to photos of your loved ones.
We quite like the cool blue look, which is far classier than anything we could have come up with. We may get it tattooed on someone.

Monday, 4 April 2011

TwitGP2 Announced!

TwitGP2: This Time It’s For Charity

This time last year, an untimely volcanic eruption led to the birth of a Twitter phenomenon. Within just a few days, the crackpot concept of a virtual race had snowballed into an out-of-control monster, and TwitGP became, as one fan put it, the “greatest use of anything, ever.”

For more serious and tragic reasons this year, there is once again a gap in the MotoGP calendar where the Japanese Grand Prix should be. The organisers of TwitGP have the greatest respect and sympathies for the Japanese affected and wish them all the best, but we’d also like to cheer everyone up and so, inevitably, inescapably and possibly inexplicably to the newbies, it’s time for TwitGP2.

Somehow, we’ve now got more followers than turn up at the Qatar GP. There are over 11,000 people in the TwitGP collective, from Angola to Zaire Belgium, and quite frankly that scares us, seeing as our ambition outweighs our talent and all we ever do is shout nonsense from the sidelines. But the amazing thing about TwitGP is that its followers, who range from riders to window cleaners to International Space Station engineers, are constantly pushing it in new directions. Having seen the splendid things they came up with last time (who could forget those liveries?), we’re more excited than Colin Edwards at a ‘buy one, get one free’ gun sale to see what they can come up with this time.

The most important thing about TwitGP2 is that as well as having a ball and enjoying some excellent racing, we’re also going to have a go at raising some money for Japan. More details will be released soon – but for the time being all you need to know is that the TwitGP2 race will explode onto your Twitter feeds from the spectacular Twitegi Circuit (don’t worry, it’s a safe distance from Fukishima) on Sunday 17th April 2011.

Expect another mouse-tickling line-up of MotoGP champs past and present, and possibly even Max Biaggi, provided we can find him a small enough pair of boxing gloves. We’ll also be joined once again by the coolest people who work in MotoGP, who’ll ignore their day jobs for a few days to take part in something much, much more fun.

Keep an eye on @TwitGP for news, timings and Vampire Goat knows what else in the build-up, not to mention information on how you can get involved and raise a bit of cash for our mates in Japan. Have a word with @TwitGPpr if you’re an actual member of the press chomping at the bit to write about this. She may even reply.

(New followers may find it useful to read about last year’s race, TwitGP1 as it is now known, HERE.)

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Stoner Applauds Rossi

Probably THE best image from Jerez 2011.

Look at his little Tiger Paws clap!

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Say ciao to Ducati

Well this certainly makes Ducati seem a nice place to work:

Some observations:
1) The chef bloke is the best.
2) We're changing all our names to Italian because it instantly sounds way cooler.
3) If you saw Vito's facial furniture in a film, you'd say "well that was a good film but the make-up effects seemed very cheap and unrealistic".
4) Valentino didn't really get it did he?
5) We'd quite like some strawberries now.

PS - we've just remembered a story about that chef going to Vegas. It can never, ever be repeated, but suffice to say when Uccio heard about it, he said "next time, we're coming with you".